#*&% hits the fan.

I went in last Thursday to the birth center and was 2-3 cm dilated, 50% effaced, soft and my cervix was up front - good news. The midwife "swept" my membranes to try and stimulate labor.

Saturday I went into "false labor" and we were REALLY excited until I figured out after 3 hours of no change that it was false labor. Then we were really down - roller coaster. Last night I had labor from 1 -2 am with actual contractions that hurt and did the whole lower back thing. Then I had them again from 8-9 am. But nothing more. More roller coaster.

Here it comes...
Then I got the word around noon that my labs are now "bad" (protein in the urine, creatine, blah). In other words, I have the pre-cursor to pre-eclampsia and risked out of the birth center. I am being transferred to the "high risk" OB's oversight and will be delivered (natural or induced) before I hit the 40 week mark - by 7/17.

This is exactly what happened with Amelia so while it is not a great shock - Buddy and I were really hoping that things would go differently especially with my weight loss prior to this pregnancy and not working the last months, etc.

It is frustrating because the high-risk OB's aren't even sure why am like this as other than my urine and elevated BP (at the OB's office!), I have no other issues. I have NO swelling/water retention (during the summer that is apparently a real feat), no weight gain issue, etc. My labs seem to always seem to crap out at exactly 38 weeks while they are excellent preceding 38 weeks. They actually put down officially that I have "pre-pre-eclampsia" which is not even a real condition.

C'est la vie I guess. Here we come smelly hospital, beeping monitors, rude nurses, being strapped to a bed not allowed to move or get out of bed, post-partum roommate, very few English speaking patients (seriously), blah, blah. Not a happy momma today.

I actually had to go through my "birth bag" and take out all the food, candles, CD's, video camera, bathing suit, etc. All the nice stuff that the hospital does not allow - that was my grieving today I guess other than the blog and playing pissed off music.

My friend Emmy, who went through her two pregnancies that same way I am, asked me if I had any "choice" cuss words - thus the blog title. Emmy and I were both induced the same day with our firsts because of our "blood pressures", although I had the bad labs with Amelia and Emmy did not. Emmy then got induced a couple months ago with her second due to her bp again. Damn Emmy - if she would have waited we could have been induced the same day again!

My last little hope I guess is that it is a FAST delivery and thus I don't need an epidural. I actually don't mind the epidural - I HATE the catheter you have to have! I am also afraid of getting an epidural more this time because I want to feel the birth like I did with Amelia. If my second labor goes faster as is the trend - I am afraid if I have one it won't wear off enough for me to feel it the delivery.

I swear they need to invent some really good drugs pronto just for pregnant ladies - alcohol with no fetal effects! Yeah! I just don't think it is fair to go through 9+ months of this and be denied all the pleasures of life (or at least suffer guilt about having them).

We will update you when the day is "set". We have an appt. with the high-risk gurus on Thursday and should know after that.